Cartel: Cycles

I think it's about time we got away from TV shows for a second and do something else. How about music? Good? Good. For the first music review I'm doing Cartel's new album called Cycles. This is the third album for the pop/punk band and I have to say, it's another decent effort for the band. Keep in mind that this style of music is not for everyone. In fact, if you don't like punk to begin with, you will hate this. Now that we're past that, let's move on.

Cycles is a solid album, not a great one, but it's okay. It has the same folly that their other albums: a lot of their songs starts to sound similar. That doesn't mean it's a bad thing. A good song played back slightly different can make for another good song. Just ask Nickelback, they have at least 3 songs that follow the same formula. I will say this about Cartel, their music is catchy. The intro track "Let's go" is very good, addicting and a great energetic track to start. The drums and the beats behind the singer make for a very likable combo. There are tracks on here that have a good combo of addicting lyrics and good instrumentals. The second track entitled "The Perfect Mistake" follows this formula very well. They have their share of slow songs, but I couldn't really get into them. Maybe it's just my personal tastes, but just couldn't get into more than half the album. This will definitely appeal to the teenage/female pop/punk-loving crowds that Cartel attracts. The tracks I would recommend listening to are as follows:

Let's Go

The Perfect Mistake

Conventional Friend

Three songs really isn't that much for an 11-track album, but the album itself is okay. I'm going to try and be as non-biased as I can be when it comes to music reviews.

This album gets a 6.5. Keep in mind I'm not doing a 6.5 saying it's the equivalent of a D. I'm saying it's a 6.5 because it's a little better than average, which I consider is a 5.

This music beats the loud latin rap that is being blasted upstairs right now, so I'll take it.

How I Met Your Mother: Duel Citizenship

How I Met Your Mother has been solid this season, especially with the whole Barney-Robin arch, and this week's episode was a good one. In this story, Robin is conflicted about either being Canadian or becoming and American citizen, while Ted and Marshall (with Lilly) head out to visit an old pizza place the visited in college.

The whole Canadian angle of Robin has been good for many laughs since the show started, and again it was funny here. Barney's constant belittling of Canada was very funny, especially the scene in the Tim Horton's in Toronto, and I'll get to that. I liked how Barney was teaching Robin to be an ignorant American, and I thought the description of curling was hilarious. This sequence really amplified Barney's ability to not really care about anything beyond himself and occasionally his few close friends. It makes me wonder if Robin will be able to handle Barney's personality for that long, or if Barney will change in the future (I sure as hell hope not, Barney's the man). The scene in the Tim Horton's in Toronto was great. Robin being confused about her identity was a pivotal part in the story. We have always seen Robin act very Canadian in the show, but In Canada she's viewed as American. It was a nice conflict, and it was nice to see Barney literally "stand up" for Robin. Barney's mockery of Canada and their money in this scene was fantastic as well. I thought the way this story wrapped up was nice as well, with Robin getting duel citizenship. However, I wondered why she didn't do this in the beginning? Seemed like the logical choice to me.

The other story line in this episode was Ted and Marshall living their college days again when they go on a road trip to Chicago. It was nice to see Marshall and Ted interacting again because they haven't had a story together in awhile. In typical Marshal fashion, he bring Lilly along since they have become a single entity in recent episodes (Marshy or Lillall I call it). Marshall really hasn't been as crazy or as standout as he used to be, so I was hoping to get more from him than I did. Also, Lilly on this road trip made me really want to haaate her, with the constant bathroom trips and the audio book. I liked the way how Ted Marshall made up after their fight, using the audio book as an illustration of their problems. Ted really has become the fifth wheel in this season now that Robin and Barney are together, so it was nice to see that being pointed out. Lastly, the parts involving the Tantrum drink were classic HIMYM and were all very funny.

This was a good episode and fits in a long line of classics. I give it a 9.2

I'm going to go do some push ups now. TANTRUM!!!

South Park: Butters' Bottom Bitch

On to the next South Park episode, called Butters' Bottom Bitch. This episode was great as far as I'm concerned. This was classic Butters and that is all you really need to make for a solid episode of South Park. You don't even need Cartman or any of the other characters if Butters is in his top form. The premise for this episode was Butters finally gets to kiss a girl because she charges 5 dollars for one behind the school. This gives Butters the idea of starting a Kissing Company, where he basically becomes a pimp and gets some of the money when boys at school pay for kisses. At the same time, one police officer goes to extreme measures to try and get rid of prostitution in South Park.

This episode becomes great when Butters actually turns into and starts acting like a pimp. His interactions with the other pimps at the Pimp Convention was great, especially when the pimps give him advice. When Butters starts talking and has the mannerisms of a pimp is comedy gold. Especially when he justifies his business to Kyle, like saying that "all boys pay for kisses eventually" by "listening to their mother fucking problems." I laugh just thinking about it. Also, the making fun of Acorn was a funny cultural reference that SP does so well.

As for the whole undercover cop thing, it was a little much, even for me. The whole doing the sex acts before he arrests the people was funny at first, but then it goes out of control. Him crapping out the "evidence" was nasty, but I'm not surprised at the lengths this show will go. Aside from how far the show went with the undercover cop, this episode was excellent. This was the classic Butters we have come to love.

This episode gets a 9.0

I'm gonna try calling my girlfriend my bottom bitch and see how far that gets me. Probably a breakup and a punch in the balls.

South Park: Dead Celebrities

I'm gonna try to get the first 2 new South Park episode reviews of this month done today, and do the third one tomorrow. The first one is titled Dead Celebrities. As far as the standard for South Park episodes has been these past few years, I thought this was a very solid episode. I had figured Trey Parker and Matt Stone were going to do something about the 137(exaggeration) celebrities that have died in the last few months. There were pros and cons about this episode, so I'll go through both.

The episode starts off with Kyle's parents doing it, which I really didn't need to see, being interrupted by Ike. The first thing I noticed was that Ike can actually talk and form sentences. The old Ike could only say a few words at a time, so it was interesting to hear him actually talk. Ike claims that he sees a ghost, and is told to go back to his room, where we first see the ghost. I love the integration of seeing the stereotypical ghost figure turn into Billy Mays. I though Billy Mays was great when he was alive, and I loved South Park's interpretation of him. He was viewed as this annoying loud guy that would never stop advertising products, even in the afterlife. I laughed at pretty much everything he said in this episode, especially the Chipotlaway infomercial and the "With 2 easy steps, I can climb over these chairs and kick you right in the fucking balls" comment. The scene where Kyle is trying to tell Ike there's no ghosts and Billy Mays is right next to him selling the Big City SIider station was great. Ike's face was priceless. Speaking of Chipoltaway, I though the parts in this episode where Kyle is more concerned about the fact that people will still eat Chipotle even though it makes them bleed in their underpants was a nice touch. It took me away from the story a little bit but made me laugh in the process.

I thought the metaphor for purgatory was brilliant. It really is the perfect comparison, because you wouldn't want to be stuck in purgatory just as much as you wouldn't want to be stuck in an airplane that isn't taking off and you can't do anything. It was a very amusing visual to see all the dead celebrities stuck in airplane seats and getting more and more pissed off. Plus, it fit the South Park style that after everything was over, they all ended up going to Hell and they had to be stuck on the plane for even more time.

I knew it wasn't long before they brought up Michael Jackson. This was the part of the episode where it kind of died down a little. The whole Ike acting like Michael thing was amusing, but it wasn't THAT funny. The scene with the Little Miss Colorado pageant was funny, and I thought the judges were hilarious, even if it might have been over-the-top for some people.

This episode was good. Not great, but good. If it wasn't for Billy Mays, the score would have been much lower.

I give this episode an 8.2

R.I.P Billy Mays

The Venture Brothers: Blood of the Father, Heart of Steel

I'm starting off this blog with a TV show review, The Venture Brothers. For those of you who are unaware of the Venture Brothers, it is one of the best shows Adult Swim has ever had. It's about a famous inventor's son (Rusty Venture) and his odd family as they go against some hilarious and lame characters. This show also features one of my favorite voice actors, Patrick Warburton (Putty from Seinfeld and Joe from Family Guy), as Brock Sampson, the badass but lovable bodyguard of the Venture Family. I have grown into a pretty big Venture Brothers fan, so I'm happy to see the new season arrive last week.

This is one of those episodes that you need to see twice, because it can be a little confusing the first time through. In this episode, the Venture compound is recovering after an attack by the Monarch, 24 is dead, Brock went a-wall, Sergeant Hatred has taken Brock's place, and there are some Nazis that are trying to revive the spirit of Hitler that is inside a dog. This is a lot of story lines to take place in the span of half an hour. However, the writers for this show do a very impressive job of fitting it all in without truly overwhelming the viewer.

This particular episode had a few negative points to it. For one thing, the confusing part of this episode was the constant shift between different points in time. One is right after the all the incidents listed above, and the other is quite a bit of time after this. In this later point time, Brock is fat, Hank has long hair and is turning into a mini-Brock, and Hatred is taking over for Brock. The confusing part is that the shows jumps between these 2 points with no real notice. By the second time I viewed this episode, I was able to understand the story much better and truly appreciate it, but most people aren't going to watch it a second time which is unfortunate. My only other real complaint with this episode was the lack of Rusty Venture. Rusty has been one of the funniest characters in this show, and to see him without a major part in this season premiere was disappointing. He only had 3 small parts in this episode, though they were all pretty funny. I just wished there was more of that, but I imagine the upcoming episodes will feature him more.

Despite these negative points, this episode had many positive factors. Though Brock is a great character, I love the addition of Sergeant Hatred into the Venture Compound. I was surprised at how funny he was. I shouldn't say I was surprised to see something funny, because everything in this show is usually funny. Hatred had a couple of lines that really made me laugh. In the beginning, when Hank basically says he's going to shoot his dad, and Hatred says "I will give you so much money to not do that." That delivery came out so perfectly that I was cracking up, plus the Hatred on the toilet scene was awesome as well. Plus, the scene where Hatred tells Hank to shoot him was very well done and I think it was a pretty pivot scene in turning Hank into a man. I also enjoyed seeing 21 turn into a bit of a villain himself. I always liked his character, and I'm glad to see he is becoming a more standout character.

The main focus of this episode was about Brock and his return from almost dying. Though this story line wasn't laugh at loud funny, it had its moments. Seeing Brock fat was amusing, and the interactions between him and Hunter are funny. This story line was to get Brock from point A to point B in the story with a few laughs along the way. The end scene where Brock stabs the Hitler dog was a nice end to the episode. You see Brock in shape again and working with Hunter. It was interesting to see that he seemed happier working as an agent again when he greeted Hank. It was nice to see Brock really sort of acting like a father figure for Hank, which he really needs.

Overall this episode was good. If they had a cleaner transition between time periods (I know the value of the comic book was supposed to indicate that, but maybe a more obvious way would have been nice, like "3 months later" kind of thing), and if there was more Rusty in it, this episode would have been great. The only ting that really saved this episode from being mediocre was the inclusion of Sergeant Hatred.

I give this episode an 8.5

Plus, they referred to toilet papers as "shit tickets" which is a phrase I will now be using all the time.

First Post

This is a review site for whatever I am able to watch, listen, or play. So, this will mostly be reviews about movies, tv shows, music and video games. I won't be able to review everything, seeing how I don't have enough money to buy every game or watch every movie, and I don't have the time to do so either. This is simply a review site for what I can, when I can.

Also, keep in mind that I am not a decent writer by any means, so if I'm not making any sense, I sincerely apologize.

So, enjoy!