South Park Fall 2009

Let me start of by saying that I love South Park. I have been watching the show since the very beginning in 97, and have been an enormous fan ever since. I say all this in the beginning because I don't want to give the impression that I hate the show in any way. The peak of South Park was in Seasons 5 and 6. These were the seasons where every episode was hilarious as well as topical. Like The Simpsons, South Park hit a stride early and has been trudging along since. These days South Park delves more into the topical without focusing in on the funny. The same could be said for the most recent lineup of episodes during the fall.

This season went deep into topics of this year: Kanye West, the dead celebrities, Whale Wars, the Somali Pirates, the Jonas Brothers and Glenn Beck. The show spent so much time trying to imitate and point out the flaws in each of these issues that they almost forget to be funny. The perfect example of this is Dances with Smurfs. This episode tried too much to show how crazy Glenn Beck is (and I appreciate that), and in the process really didn't make the episode enjoyable at all. Plus, the whole thing with the Smurfs was unnecessary and really brought down the episode even further. Don't get me wrong, the show has the ability to be funny and topical. The Fishsticks episode is perfect example of this. Also, the John Edwards episode is a great example, and it happens to be my favorite SP episode of all time.

The two funniest parts of the fall half of season 13, Butters' Bottom Bitch(best episode of the season) and Japanese guys in Whale Whores, had nothing to do with any topical subjects at all. THAT'S what they should focus on, just doing their own thing. Some of South Park's most famous episodes really weren't topical and all. They just focused on their jokes and that's all that mattered. Episodes like Major Boobage, Towelie, Scott Tenorman Must Die, and How to Eat With Your Butt were not really topical in any way. That's why South Park became one of the most recognized cartoons in the world.

The show has the same formula for every season: 1 or 2 great episodes, 1 or 2 more decent episodes, and the rest are mediocre. Look it up, if you think I'm wrong. It is this formula that has made South Park somewhat stagnant ever since season 8. All that being said, I still and always will love South Park and will continue to watch every episode. Besides, as stagnant as the show is, it's better than anything the Simpsons or Family Guy have been putting out these days. Also, is the Cleveland Show still on? If yes, then WHY is it still on?

Here is my grade breakdown for the fall half of season 13 of South Park:

Dead Celebrities: 8.2

Butters' Bottom Bitch: 9.0

W.T.F.: 6.5

Whale Whores: 8.6

The F Word: 8.2

Dances With Smurfs: 6.0

Pee: 7.0

South Park season 13 as a whole gets an 8.0. It's a big improvement over season 12, where the only good episode was Major Boobage.

3 Disappointing Albums of 2009

While 2009 has been a somewhat decent year as far as music is concerned, there have been a few prominent releases that truly disappointed me. I’m not saying these are “bad” albums by any means. It’s just that when I hear a new album from one of my favorite artists, there are a few things I expect. Now this may not be what you think I’m going to say, but I do not expect every band or artist that comes out with new music to stick with the same sound they’ve rehashed year after year. In fact, my number one rule for new music is as simple as this: “how has their product improved?” I am not suggesting that everyone should ditch their trademark sound and replace it with a complete reinvention, but new music should mark some kind of evolution. In my opinion, if you fail to change at all, you are not a true artist. The key is to retain what makes you unique while still adding something new. Anyway, here are my picks for three biggest disappointments this year…

3. Breaking Benjamin – Dear Agony

It hurts me to say it, but Breaking Ben really dropped the ball here. I understand that they want to become more mainstream and have some more big radio hits to establish themselves, but this sounds like a watered-down, less creative version of the band to me. On their first album, Saturate, Breaking Benjamin came out blazing with real heavy rock that was still catchy and perfect to sing along to. They followed suite with their sophomore effort We Are Not Alone, complicating their arrangements a bit while still retaining heaviness and sing-along choruses. Phobia, their third album, was a misstep in my view, but it was still listenable. The songs were a little less dynamic, and they all sounded quite similar. With Dear Agony, Breaking Ben unfortunately continues their downslide into mediocrity with a radio-friendly album full of simple ballads and containing little of what made the band popular in the first place: scathing, straight-up catchy rock.

2. Busta Rhymes – Back on My B.S.

I don’t really need to say too much about this one. For every track where Busta harkens back to his old, fast-spitting self there is another full of fluff and nonsense. I mean, come on… the chorus to “Sugar?” Let me enlighten you guys to the masterful lyrics of this song. And no, this is not a joke:

“I wanna taste your body / I wanna taste your face
I wanna taste your breast / taste below your waist

Right here’s the perfect place / for me to kiss and fuck you”

I rest my case.

1. Weezer – Raditude

I like Weezer and much as the next guy or gal – in fact, I’m a huge Weezer fan. Their first record is one of my top ten albums of all time, and Pinkerton is not far behind. I was also a huge fan of The Green Album, Maladroit and last year’s Red Album (the only stinker on the latter was the tune written for Brian Bell’s other band). Unfortunately, this release falls more in line with the mediocre Make Believe than anything else. 2005’s Make Believe wasn’t terrible, but in my opinion featured some less-than-stellar songwriting in some cases. I feel similarly about Raditude, although this time around I have more of a gripe with the lyrics than anything else. The music has taken a turn for pure pop, which is fine… but it seems that nearly all of Rivers Cuomo’s eccentricity has been lost to the wind. He is writing as if he is a teenager still in high school, which is similar to what he did on the Red Album - though instead of making you think about the content of the song, here he just sounds bland. I do, however, dig the collaboration with Lil’ Wayne (“Can’t Stop Partying”) as well as a couple of others. I hope Weezer takes some more time with their next album and return to true form.

[by Greg Michaels]

Review - Halo 3: ODST

Platform: Xbox 360
MSRP: $59.99 - Release Date: September 22^nd, 2009

Before I begin my review, I’d like to introduce myself since I’m new to the blog. My name is Greg and I’ve been friends with the blog’s creator since we were just wee little tykes. When he told me that he was starting a review site I was all for the idea. Our goal with this site is to provide reviews for all different kinds of media, and hopefully provide you (the readers) with useful information as well as entertaining commentary. That being said, I’m going to start things off with a review of Halo 3: ODST for the Xbox 360.

First thing’s first: I’ll be talking mainly about the game’s first disc, the campaign. I have a nerd-tastic amount of experience playing the original Halo 3’s multiplayer, which is basically the same exact thing as ODST’s second disc. There’s not much new in the multiplayer… in fact, it’s really just Halo 3 with all of the downloadable maps. I’m not sure if the two new weapons from the campaign made it into multiplayer, but even if they did they’re pretty useless and boring. But more on that later.

Halo 3: ODST offers a relatively fresh perspective of the Halo universe. Instead of playing as Master Chief, a “Spartan,” you play as multiple humans who are members of an elite task force (“ODST’s,” or “Orbital Drop Shock Troopers”). You switch between these humans as you progress through the main storyline, although you always come back to the main character (a mute ODST simply known as the Rookie). This change is interesting, as it tried to develop a side story that really has nothing to do with Master Chief. The plot intrigued me, but I wasn’t so into it that I couldn’t wait to see what happens next.

Which brings me to the “hub.” Whenever you take control of the Rookie in campaign mode, for most of the game it’s a “hub” level. What I mean by that is after every legitimate stage where you’re controlling one of the ODST’s, you switch back to the Rookie who is in the same part of the narrative’s city (New Mombasa) for most of the game. The Rookie’s job is to snoop around until he finds a clue, which will lead you to the game’s next level as one of the other ODST’s. This ends up becoming quite tedious, especially since there’s not too many enemies and really you’re just traipsing around a dark, endless city. It is extremely distracting and jolts you out of the main game’s storyline. If I could have skipped the hub every time, I would have.

There’s not much new in terms of the actual gameplay. There are two new weapons, one of which is a useless, weak submachine gun, and the other being a useless, weak pistol. I don’t understand why they even bothered, really… I don’t think I used either of those guns once aside from the opening sequences. The other major gameplay tweak here is that double wielding is no more. That’s right, kids: Bungie opted to get rid of the mechanic that allows you to brandish two small weapons at once. I wasn’t as bothered by this as I thought I was going to be. In fact, it makes it feel a little bit more like classic Halo. That being said, this is really just an expansion pack for Halo 3: there’s no new enemies, abilities, etc. It’s the same old Grunts and Brutes you’re fighting as you progress through the game… and that never changes.

All in all, I enjoyed playing ODST for a while. But it didn’t really offer me anything new, and it felt like I was playing a dumbed-down version of Halo 3. The graphics are a little bit more polished than its predecessor, but nothing really stands out all that much. It looks pretty, but not as pretty as several of today’s games. The price is way too high, and I definitely regret spending 60 smackers for this “expansion pack.” It should be 25-30 at the most. The multiplayer is excellent, but you can just use the original Halo 3 and buy all the maps if you really wanted to. My advice would be to rent it for the campaign and save the money.

This game gets a 6.9

[by Greg Michaels]

The Venture Brothers: Handsome Ransom

I am happy to see this show get back to its roots. You seriously could not ask for a better episode than the one from this week. I love Brock Sampson's character in this show, but you didn't need him at all to make this story so unbelievably funny.

To start off, Rusty was back in this episode, and he was as funny as I had hoped he would be. Since he was barely in the season premiere, I was hoping he'd have a bigger role in the next episode. Another one of my favorite characters was back in this episode: The Monarch, who is the perfect arch-nemesis for Dr. Venture. They are both so unbelievably incompetent that they compliment each other very nicely. This episode starts off with the Venture boys getting captured again by the Monarch who is trying to negotiate a ransom with Dr. Venture. What was funny that the Monarch was asking for money this time, which caught everyone off guard. Then Venture tries bartering off some old equipment, Hank sides with the Monarch to not be stiff with money, Dr. Venture telling the Monarch to keep Hank, and everyone finally negotiating a transaction location. This scene couldn't have worked any better. Everyone was hilarious and it is scenes like this that make Venture Brothers the funniest show on Adult Swim. I was happy to see Sergeant Hatred being just as funny as he was in the premiere, with the sort of incompetence that fits right into the Venture family. The transaction scene was also fantastic, which ended with the Monarch kicking Venture in the balls and stealing his forged money.

This episode was also great cause it included the voice of Kevin Conroy, who has done the voice for every Batman series since the early 90's. I was in typical nerd worship when I heard his voice in this episode, but his character was nothing like Batman. Though he was a superhero, he was a very fruity superhero who uses radiated light to attack his enemies. So anyone who gets attacked by him ends up with a sunburn. What was amusing about this character was his latent homosexual and pedophiliac tendencies when he recruited Hank to be his "Wonder Boy" after the Monarch killed the original Wonder Boy in a drunken stupor. You could see his character being an obvious reference to Batman, what with the butler and the secret lair.

I also thought the new Number 21 is awesome. I think it's funny that he became this huge, ripped and badass henchman after 24 was killed. What is amusing is that he still is a nice guy when he paid a cab driver rather than killing him like the Monarch ordered. He has become a nice asset to the Monarch, now that he can kick people's asses. The episode basically ended with the Monarch failing to re-capture Hank, and Hank leaves the superhero to go back with Dr. Venture. They give a little homage to Batman at the end of the episode, which was a funny way to end it.

This episode was fantastic, and really had everything you could want out of this show. This is one episode I could watch again and again, and I suggest you do the same.

I'm giving this episode a 9.8

If I could have any voice, it would be Kevin Conroy's. ...... or Ian McShane's.

South Park: W.T.F.

South Park had a good couple of episodes to start their Fall run, but their third episode, titled W.T.F., really lacked the quality the first 2 had. I knew it was a matter of time before South Park took a jab at the WWE, and since I used to watch wrestling, I was excited to see what they would do. I know wrestling has a lot of acting involved, so I figured they'd make that their focus.

So the episode focused on how the boys, after seeing a WWE show, decide to put on their own wrestling show. This attracts the attention of all the stereotypical rednecks that the WWE does. Say what you want about the WWE, but they sell out shows every week. I love that they brought back the "Took our jobs!" line that I loved so much. Other than that line, the episode wasn't that good. Their wrestling event became more of a Broadway play by the end. I thought the fact that the event had intermissions and the audience were drinking wine during it was a funny little addition. The making fun of real wrestling was also an interesting commentary.

Other than those few points, this episode really lacked the comedy that made previous episodes so great. They tried so hard to make fun of wrestling that they forgot to make it really funny in the process. There really isn't much else to say beyond that.

This episode gets a 6.5

And yes real wrestling is totally gay.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen on Blu Ray

Well, it took forever, but I finally saw Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen tonight. I didn't get a chance to see it in theaters, because every movie reviewer on the planet hated it and my friends didn't want to see it. I wasn't going to be THAT guy that goes to movies alone. So it took months, but I finally rented the movie on Blu Ray, because Blu Ray is the future and I love it.

Let me start off by saying that I was always a big fan of the series. I have the original animated movie on DVD, and I watched the original cartoon, Beast Wars, and the other shows when I was a kid. When the first Transformers movie came out a few years back, I didn't mind it. I thought it was a very entertaining movie and did the original series justice. Some people loved it, others hated it. Whatever, everyone is entitled to their opinions. However, let me just say that as an aspiring computer animator, these movies are amazing. The first movie was a little intense with the special effects, but the second movie wasn't as overwhelming for some reason. The animation and graphics in this movie were incredible and really left me amazed. I know the amount of time it took to make the graphics and animation, so it is really impressive.

When it comes to this movie, I was very entertained. That does not make it a good movie, it merely makes it an entertaining movie. There are good movies like Gran Torino and the Curious Case of Brad Pitt that are meant to convey emotions and make you connect with the movie. Then there are entertaining movies that are meant to keep you distracted with special effects and explosions and leave you going "that was kickass." Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was the latter. It left me insanely entertained from beginning to end and I thought it was awesome. Movie critics don't appreciate these kinds of movies. They want acting and a compelling plot, not giant robots fights of good vs. evil. That's why reviewers gave this movie shit ratings. If you want emotions and acting, go watch some Jennifer Aniston movie. If you want to be entertained for 2 and a half hours, watch Transformers.

The premise of the story is that Sam is the child of destiny to help bring an end to the war between Autobots and Decepticons. The Decepticons come back with force and try to start some ancient machine to destroy the sun. The one thing I noticed right off the bat with this movie is the addition of new Transformers and the increase in dialogue of these characters. The first movie was much more about the human characters and their interactions. The sequel had more involvement with robots than it did humans. This is not saying it is bad thing. I was hoping there were be newer Transformers and make it more interesting, and for the most part, there were. I really liked the "old Transformer" that was brought back to life, and I liked the premise that they were on Earth for thousands of years. Many movies have had the premise that aliens helped humans build their societies, so it was interesting to see how it played in the Transformers universe. As far as the premise of Optimus dying and being brought back to life to destroy the enemy made more sense than you know. In one of the Transformers shows from years back, there was a story that had the exact same premise. Optimus dies, and the Matrix brought him back to life, so I can't really hate the story.

As far as the human actors go, they were ok. I love John Torturro, so I was glad to see him back in this movie. As for Shia LeBouf's character, the whole idea of him being this destiny child was a little farfetched, but he had to be the center of the story somehow. His was acting was the same as it normally was, decent but not great. Megan Fox had to just stand there and look hot and she would do her job. Her acting isn't as good as any other actress, but she is hot, so I guess it works out. The parents parts in these movie seemed a little out of place. They were good for a few chuckles in the beginning of the movie, but it didn't really seem to fit with everything else. As far as Sam's roommate in the movie was concerned, he was completely unnecessary. He was the comic relief and that's all he was good for. He really didn't need to be in as much of the story as he was. He could have been in the beginning for a few reaction shots and then he could have been done away with. He was the same as those "Twin Autobots," who were really not necessary at all. Plus Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob, also did voices for a couple of characters in this movie, which turned the characters into really silly ones. His voice is really obvious, so I really couldn't take the movie seriously when those characters were on.

Let me just say that this movie was really cheesy, but that's honestly what I expected. Transformers was never really was supposed to be this high-quality movie like The Dark Knight. Characters and series like Batman are much more complex and go into a much more emotional and psychological level than the Transformers series. Transformers were always just about looking cool and fighting each other. That's it. Keep that in mind when you watch this movie.

As far as the dvd quality goes, it was good. The video is breathtaking in Blu Ray and the audio matches that. Everyone really should start using Blu Ray, because it is amazing. The really wasn't much in terms of Extras here. All that was there was a commentary from Michael Bay and a few other people that I really didn't care enough to listen the whole way through. Michael Bay really isn't the most interesting director, so it didn't seem worth it to be honest. He's good at blowing shit up, but I didn't really want to hear how he did it. I'm assuming the 2-Disc Special Edition DVD has all the good stuff, but I would have liked to see maybe one other extra on here, like a behind the scenes thing. Just something else to make it seem this DVD was worth it. Oh well...

This DVD was decent. The movie was good, and the video and audio were top notch. The extras were lacking, so I'm not sure this Blu Ray is worth the 30 dollars you would ultimately pay for it. If I were you, I'd spend the few extra dollars and get the Special Edition, because I've heard there are a lot of kickass extras on there.

I'm going to give this dvd an 8.2

The 2-Disc Special Edition gets a 9.2

This is, of course, if you like this sort of thing. If not, then enjoy watching The Proposal.

Wii Fit Plus

I think it's time I put a game review under my belt as well, and today's review is Wii Fit Plus, the highly anticipated sequel to one of Nintendo's highest profile games. For those who live in caves with no TV or internet, the Wii Fit is the exercise video game put out by Nintendo to help encourage more active lifestyles. I own the original Wii Fit, so I had to try out the new game.

To start off, Wii Fit Plus takes all of the information from the original Wii Fit and easily places everything into the new game, which is very convenient. There are a number of new features here. It is the same traditional menu as the original game, but with two new sections: Training Plus and My Wii Fit Plus.

The training Plus section offers a variety of new balance and aerobic games to play. Some are just advanced versions of original activities, and some are new to the scene. Many of these are very fun and energetic. My personal favorites are the golf swing practice, the snowball fight, the rhythm kung fu, the obstacle course, and the basic run plus. As you can see, these are just a few of the new training plus games you can play, and all over the offer a way to be active as well as play games. The most important thing with this is: you sweat. With some one these activities, you well legitimately break a sweat and be exercising. Imagine that shit!

The other new are is the My Wii Fit Plus section. This is a great section for people who are looking for a Wii Fit Workout that adheres to their needs. The menu here has many areas you can go to, the first being Wii Fit Plus Routines. Here you can chose a variety of 5-10 minute workouts that target specific areas of your body, like posture or trimming down your stomach or your arms. These different workouts combine strength training, aerobics and balance games that are meant to work out the part of the body the exercise corresponds to. This is a nice new feature. The My Routine section allows you to set up a list of yoga and strength training exercises that you can follow. The My favorites section shows the activities you most frequently play, the ones you played that day, and the ones you rarely use. I'm not sure if this is supposed to encourage you to do the ones you never do, but I get the idea. On the left there are 4 tabs, the first of which is calorie check. Finally, the game shows you how many calories you burn in a workout! Not only that, but it shows you common foods or drinks and number of calories it equates to. This is probably the most helpful new feature in the game. It also shows you your fit credits for the day and how they calculate the amount of calories you've burned. Finally, I can see that I burned 3 calories while I played a balance game! That, is sarcasm, but it's more helpful to see how many calories you burn on a run or on any of the strength training exercises. Plus the Wii Fit is always there with a helpful tip for you.

A couple other new features for this game allow you to give your baby(?) or dog(?) a workout plan as well. Why anyone would need or use this feature is beyond me, and it's not really necessary. If you got a fat baby or a fat dog, just let it run around and stop feeding it so much. Problem solved. The last new feature is much more useful. It allows multiple players to join in on an activity, which is generally what these types of games are meant for.

I know this game isn't for everyone. I know some people prefer not to exercise, and that's why they play video games. My friend Greg's shoulders are too broad and he can't fit on the balance board when he tries to do push ups. I know people don't want their video games telling them their fat, because the irony is just too much to handle. This game is meant to reach out to the people that normally wouldn't play video games, and that's why Nintendo made some serious cash money on the first Wii Fit, and they will most likely keep raking in the money on this game too. I will say this though. This is a great game for out of shape people who wish to start being more active. You sweat with this game. If you do the long distance run in this game, you bet your ass you will feel it afterwards. However, I'm not saying you're going to get in insane shape if you only do Wii Fit. A combo of Wii Fit and doing some jogging or going to the gym will get in some serious fucking shape. Is it worth it if you have to pay 99 dollars to get the wii fit board along with it? If you stick to the program, yes. Is it worth it if you already have the balance board. Absolutely. If you're looking to get in serious shape, go to a gym and don't waste your money. If you want to have fun while breaking a sweat, this is a solid game.

I'm giving it an 8.7

Now after a good sweat, I'm going to sit on my ass and play some Call of Duty.